I've been thinking about friendship lately, only because, in my life, friendship is fleeting.

I can't get a hold on the trick in finding true friends.

But, I know how to tell when someone is not your friend. I've had plenty of experience with that aspect.

Get sick for awhile. See who shows up at the hospital. The ones who don't show up aren't your friends. Cross them off.

Ask your buddy if you can borrow his car. If he says no, cross him off.

If you're playing golf and you hit a particularly bad shot, then say "That's the worst shot I ever hit," and your golf partner says, "No, I've seen you hit alot worse...today.", cross him off.

If you write a scientific paper which includes convoluted matrices and get it published, then one of your work buddies tells your boss that you left out a bracket in the seventy seventh equation and laughs about it, cross him off.

If you wreck your buddy's car and then he wants you to pay for it in cash so that he won't have to submit a claim to his insurance, which will increase his premium by a couple of bucks for three years, cross him off.

If you tell your buddy that God manifests Himself in nature, and he says that is heresy, cross him off.

If you e-mail a friend to see why he hasn't communicated with you and he responds by saying, "I've been asleep for the last few months.", cross him off.

If you hit a ball out of bounds on seventeen, and your buddy says that's stroke and distance, after he chili dipped a chip on the last hole and still said he got a par, cross him off.

I could go on forever. I could write a book. But, the question still remains. I can tell who isn't my friend, but I can't tell who is.

I'm down to three right now. At least, I think it's three. It might be zero. Maybe I'm the problem.

Ah, what the hey, who needs friends anyway. Thoreau did alright.