Spurrier post game interview in the truth zone

Question: Coach, is there any reason why there were so many penalties today against the Giants?

Spurrier: Well, daggumit, I told those young men to knock off the penalties, but they didn’t hear me, obviously. Bad playing on their part. I coached them up as good as I could.

Question: Is it ever bad coaching when a player makes a mistake?

Spurrier: No, these guys are professionals. When they make a mistake, it’s on them. I only took this gig to pay my golf dues at Sawgrass for a couple years. I share my wisdom with them every day. They just won’t listen. I established my reputation at Florida. Now, they need to step up and make me look good.

Question: Coach, it looks like you were trying to establish the run today.

Spurrier: Daggumit, did you watch the game? We ran the ball until we got eighteen down and then we went back to my game plan and started throwing it every time. Danny told me to emphasize the run to placate the fans. So, I just fiddled around running the candidate until we get far enough behind so I could start throwing the ball. I couldn’t let Ladell carry it too much because he was getting too many yards.

Question: Are you saying that you are intentionally allowing the team to fall behind so that you can throw every down in the second half?

Spurrier: I may be a hayseed from Tennessee, but I know how to call a game so that I can have some fun out there. It’s all about wide receiver separation and directional punting. That’s the way you win ballgames in the National Football League. It worked at Duke, it worked at Florida, it worked in the World Football League and it’ll work here. But, hey, even if it doesn’t work, I’m having fun and putting five big ones in the bank every year.

Question: Coach, will you think about resigning after the third year, if you haven’t made the playoffs by then?

Spurrier: Resign? Heck, I’ve got that mansion to pay for down there on the Matanzas River. I’ve got to get Danny set up with his insurance gig. I’ve got golf to play at Sawgrass. It takes money to do all of those things. Playoffs? I’ll get ‘em there next year. If not, it was bad execution on the players’ part.