A rant about the game, Tiger Woods PGA Tour: The Masters.

I’ve been laid up for a while with various health issues, so I spend some of my day filling time by playing an online golf game called Tiger Woods PGA Tour: The Masters. It’s a good game created by EA Sports. There are about a dozen golf course layouts to choose from and various ways you can choose to hit the golf ball. It’s basically a test of your hand-eye coordination rather than a test of strength. Also, there is a fair bit of strategy involved in deciding how to compensate for elevation changes, wind, fast greens, breaking putts, etc. And, you can choose to play very easy setups where you can score twenty under par or you can set a course up so that par is an excellent score.

I’ve been playing the game for a few years now. It does break up my day and also gives me something to look forward to in the morning. I’m part of a group of golfers who play every day. I’m one of the administrators who choose the setup parameters for the daily tournaments in which we compete. We have four other admins, but I usually do all of the setups. I don’t know how that chore fell on my shoulders, but I readily accept the job without much complaining from myself or other members of the group.

All of the group members are long time players and are all quite good. Some are better than others but we all seem to get along fairly well. Of course, there are disagreements and arguments about cheating, restarting games to improve scores and sniping about who is gaining an unfair advantage of some kind. But, we are all veterans enough to know that we cannot control the other players or convince them to do anything that they don’t want to do. So, we have taken a benevolent approach by stating what we believe to be fair and how we think that the game should be played, and then let each individual member decide how to conduct himself when he plays. That methodology seems to fit the overall personality of the group. Live and let live. And, if things go wrong, complain a little but then get over it and move on to the next game.

But, having said all of that, the only reason I, personally, keep playing the silly game is because of the interesting characters that I run across. I play matches and tournaments with group members but also venture out and play anyone who happens to want to play in online matches any time of the day. This is a world-wide game, so you can be playing with a feisty German teenager one match and a congenial old farmer from Wisconsin the next.

But, boy, have I run into some characters. Just as in real life, you run into obnoxious people who you have to give up on, but, luckily, many friendly folks who you think that you would like to have as a lifelong friend. However, you don’t ever really know with whom you are dealing. For example, I met a person who called himself PennGolfer1955. We played each other in some online matches and were evenly matched. We became online friends and had some good conversations while we were playing our matches. He eventually invited me into a group that he had created and for which I’m an administrator right now. But, the funny thing to me was that he initially took on the persona of a middle aged blue collar guy with a goatee. Then, after we had been playing for months, he suddenly took on the persona of a middle aged woman who started to have these feminine feelings and grave issues with bad behavior on the net. I couldn’t believe it. So, who was this person who suddenly morphed into a completely different personality and gender? Eventually, PennGolfer1955 got flummoxed by her perceived discontent with supposed cheating and bad conduct on the net. So, she quit the group that she had created, developed a new personality and persona, changed her persona name and is still playing today. I don’t really know her real background or story but can certainly conjure up some ideas about her motives and her emotional state.

But, to me, that’s what makes the interaction with these other golfers interesting and compelling. They all have a back story and a reason for playing, but I will never know for sure what motives and incentives compel them to get on the internet every day and play this silly game.

I know that people lie about their backgrounds and motives because, I, myself, do. My web personality which I try to portray is a congenial old guy who used to be a managerial type in a large corporation but is now retired. However, he still carries that supervisory baggage with him and enjoys attempting to cajole others into seeing his viewpoint on life without demanding anything from anybody. I may be a little like that in real life, but, in reality, that is what I’d like to be, rather than what I am. Why I see that type of personality as one to mimic, I don’t know. And, I never have tried to analyze why I like that type of personality. I just do.

Back to other personalities, I have enjoyed playing a “female” who calls herself RoseOfCappilone. It’s an interesting name which automatically gives her an air of sophistication and a modicum of aloofness. She is a very good player and a compelling personality who is quick to praise others and tends to be unassuming when that attitude is appropriate. However, when she plays, she has the instincts of a killer. She is aggressive in her shot selection and never plays safe. In other words, she plays like a man but acts in a way that many perceive to be as girly or feminine in nature. So, is she a man playing with a female persona or is she a woman playing like she perceives a man would play because she can’t or won’t take on that type of role in real life? I’ll never know.

Then, there are the guys who act and play as one would expect. Most of them talk about sports and beer and how they are going to beat the crap out of you the next time you play them. I feel comfortable with this type of personality because it fits my perception of what men say and do. The only issue that comes up for me is how close to their real personalities are they projecting? I think that most are conveying their real life personalities while subtly hiding or obfuscating any blemishes that might diminish their concept of themselves. That is one great thing about the net. You can hide your deficits while always projecting the image you want.

Let me talk about some more of the great personalities I’ve run into. One of the best is a guy who calls himself Catman43. He says he’s a middle aged codger from Canada who is devoted to his wife and his beer. Now, who wouldn’t like a guy who projects that image? You can’t dislike him. He tries to come across as a mild mannered guy who would be a great real life golf buddy; one who is a devoted friend but will also beat you senseless on the golf course anytime he gets the chance. But, win or lose, he’s always gracious after the match is over. My perception is that, in real life, he is used to winning most of the time and doesn’t take it well anytime he loses, even if it’s a silly game on the computer against some unknown person from West Virginia. I think that he revels in beating his opponent but knows how to act when he does win and, also, when he occasionally loses. Now, that’s the kind of person I can relate to. Be a winner, but always be an unassuming and gracious winner or loser. That’s the image that he is trying to project and that is the way he is in real life, I believe.

Then, there are the obnoxious ones. I set up a match the other day and waited for someone to join me. I had set the preview parameter on so that you can get help in lining up your putts. You can find the exact line but you still must hit your marks perfectly in order to make the putt. There are purists in the game who think that previews are an anathema. They are repelled by the very idea of getting magical help in lining up one’s putts. I, myself, always take the view that any help or edge you can get in sports is fine. If the rules allow it, I’m going to take advantage of it. Now, most of the members of my group are purists and want no previews. I can see their logic and usually set up the games without previews. But, when I’m playing outside the group, I usually use previews. Well, back to the game, I sat and waited for a competitor for a few moments and had almost decided that there were no takers for my particular setup. But, then, a person named LeaLew suddenly appeared. We clicked in and were waiting for the game to start. This process always takes a few seconds. I was mindlessly waiting to get started when, out of the blue, a message from LeaLew appeared on the screen. She said, “You know you shouldn’t set up matches with previews. That’s just not done.” Well, I thought to myself, I do it all of the time and this is the first person to ever complain about it. The thing is that a person can check the setup before he decides to join the game. So, LeaLew knew that I had set previews on before she clicked into the match. So, that irritated me to no end. At first, I was going to try to placate her in some manner. But, then, I decided to let my true personality come out for once. So, I just kindly said, “Too bad. If you don’t like the setup, then quit.”

[Note: that was a cleaned up version of what I actually said.]

She responded, “Oh, I can see that I’m going to have to turn chat off. That wasn’t very mature of you.”

I decided to wait until the game started before going to my next move. The person who sets up the match is the first to hit. So, I had the honors and was on the tee ready to shoot. But, I had also set the timer parameter to off, which means that I have an infinite amount of time to take my shot. So, I decided to just stand there on the first tee and see how she would react.
She waited around two minutes and then finally said, “Well, this is ridiculous. I’m not waiting forever for you to take your shot.” She then exited the game.

Now, you may wonder why I decided to be so obnoxious. Well, there’s a rule in the game that says if you quit a game before it’s over, you are penalized. The game keeps track of how many times you quit a match and always shows that parameter when you set up a game. So, if your DNF, or Did Not Finish, percentage is high, many are reluctant to play with you because they know that you tend to quit when things aren’t going your way. So, I decided that I wasn’t going to let LeaLew hurt my DNF percentage. Instead, I turned it back on her and make her increase her DNF.

Now, was that petty? Of course it was. Was it necessary? No, not really. So, why did I do it? That’s my true personality coming out. I can be pushed so far, but I’ll eventually push back. That push point is different for every person. But, now, you know mine. It’s really short.

So, you can get to know people by the way they react to situations in the game. It’s just like real life, only it’s not real.

Okay, I see that the internet has come back up. Time to find some more interesting characters!!!