Stupid is as stupid does

Stupid is as stupid does

My morning walk is usually fairly uneventful.  I always run into some of the same people every day and we exchange some kind of pleasantry as societal rules dictate.  A friendly “Good morning!!!” or a “Wow, it’s a little cold today!” usually suffices.  Don’t get me wrong; I like those random encounters.  It breaks up the walk and gives me a feeling of being part of something that is bigger and greater than myself.  And, wow, the people around here are friendly.  I wouldn’t want to disappoint them by ignoring their glances or pretending that they don’t exist.  Hey, we’re humans.  We love to interact.

The community center area which I pass through has a walking or jogging track around the periphery of the property.  It also has exercise spots where one can do x number of pushups or pull ups and garner some cardio advantages over the normal couch potato waltz in which most of us indulge.   Since I’m located in the rolling hills area of the eastern U.S. piedmont, there aren’t many truly level areas.  If you’re outside, you are on one side of a hill or another.  So, the track is not level all the way around.  It is somewhat circular on the horizontal plane and quite undulating on the vertical plane.

So, I walk around the track to get my cardio but skip all of the exercise stations along the way.  This particular morning, there were some spots of snow and ice on the track surface.  I had walked over and around those types of trouble areas many times before without incident.  I assumed that today’s adventure would be like the other thousand slogs of the past:  Enjoyable but uneventful.  Boy, I was wrong on that one.

As I approached one particular trouble spot, I made some internal calculations, based on air temperature, snow depth and wind conditions, and concluded that I could make it over this particular snowy stretch without any problem.  I casually took a few steps on the snow without a problem.  I did notice that what looked like snow from a distance was actually ice which had been created overnight from the raw temperatures.  But, still, it was only a twenty foot stretch and didn’t seem to be of any consequence.  In fact, my mind began to wander as I walked, so I was day dreaming about the upcoming golf season as I nonchalantly meandered over the ice.  I was thinking about the idea of aggressively rotating my forearms through impact on my golf downswing, when all of a sudden, I felt myself falling.  My legs didn’t fly out from under me as I would have expected, however.  Instead, my right leg gave out from under me and I collapsed on it.  I lay there for a second trying to assess the damage.  I felt a little pain, but not to an excess.

My first inclination was to attempt to get back on my feet and then walk back toward the track area that was dry.  I attempted to get my right foot under me and push up, but the ice was too slippery.  My foot would just slide out from under me.  So, I decided to crawl back to the dry area.  I mean, come on, it was only ten or so feet back.  It wasn’t like I was climbing Mt. Everest here.  So, within a minute, I had crawled back to dry land, and, with some effort, I must admit, I got myself upright again.  Wow, that was a good feeling, because in this part of the community center property, there doesn’t tend to be any foot traffic.  And, on a cold day like today, there won’t tend to be any for the foreseeable future.   So, the Calvary wasn’t going to happen by to help.

My next thought was to call my wife on my cell phone.  But, I just couldn’t get myself to do it.  I’m not a macho kind of guy…but, I do have my pride.  I just couldn’t get myself to give in and ask for help.  I decided to try to walk home without assistance, if I could.  It was only a mile and a half.  I thought that I could make it.  Of course, there was the issue of some heavy pain in my ankle.  But, I’ve had ankle sprains before and was always able to walk through the pain.

I decided to get on the grassy area of the property and walk back to the road.  I took some initial steps and quickly discovered that I couldn’t walk in a normal fashion.  I couldn’t push off with my ankle joint.  So, I just walked stiff legged without rotating my ankle in any manner. 

After some effort, I was able to finally arrive at the community center parking lot and begin my walk home via the regular roadways.  I was slow, but steady, and was not experiencing too much pain at all.  However, I certainly wouldn’t have minded if one of the drivers in those cars flying by me would have stopped and offered me some assistance.  I wasn’t going to ask for help but I would have accepted it if someone had asked.  But, nobody did.

Long story short, I did make it home and eventually went to the doctor the next day.  After taking some X-rays, Doc casually informed me that I had indeed broken my ankle and would need to wear a brace for six weeks.  I told him that I didn’t want to hear that, but he disregarded my desire to ignore the reality of the situation and focused on arranging to get me fitted with a brace and starting the healing process.

As always, my wife stepped in and took over the situation.  I’m sure that she will give a superhuman effort to get me back on my feet so that I can continue to take my daily morning walks and, eventually, get back out on the golf course.  But, I feel bad about the situation.  I should have handled those series of life events in a better manner.  I hurt myself because I wasn’t paying enough attention to my surroundings.  Then, I exacerbated the problem by not seeking help when I truly needed it.  And, now, my wife will need to take over almost all of the family responsibilities for at least six weeks.

I wish that I could say that I learned a good life lesson and won’t repeat those same mistakes again.  However, that’s not going to happen.  For me, personally, pride and stubbornness will always win over logical pragmatism.   Every time.  That’s just the way it is, unfortunately.

But, I’ll still feel bad about the way I handled the situation.  Does that count for anything?

A Blue Herring

A Blue Herring

(A class lecture on the art of wordsmithing)

We in Virginia have just elected a Democrat, Mark Herring, as our new attorney general.  I expect that most Virginia residents naturally think that part of Mr. Herring’s job is to uphold and defend the constitution of the state of Virginia.  But, instead, as one of his first actions, he decided that he wouldn’t attempt to defend the state law prohibiting same sex marriage.  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

In one of the most diabolical and illogical decisions that any rational man can make, he has arbitrarily decided that he cannot defend Virginia’s constitution in this instance because there may be some contention that Virginia’s laws are inconsistent with federal mandates.  Even though the man has a law degree and is assumed to be intelligent, he has decided that he can interpret constitutional law as he sees fit, rather than attempting to defend the laws that the citizens of Virginia have voted for and approved while also waiting for this issue to be definitively settled by the Supreme Court of the United States.

Earth to Herring:  Same sex marriage is not universally mandated by any definitive law at this point.  The issue is still being debated in the courts of our great land.  Of course, proponents are chewing on the edges of the issue and are making strides to make same sex marriage the law of the land.  However, that hasn’t happened as of today. 

But, some of the most interesting aspects of Mr. Herring’s actions are the reasons he puts forth for not defending the state law.  For one, he talked to his kids and they convinced him that same sex marriage is a good thing.  For him, it didn’t matter that a majority of Virginia citizens see the issue differently.  In his mind, his kids take precedence over millions of Virginia citizens. 

Then, in a fit of madness, he looked within himself and experienced a cultural epiphany…a brain fart, if you will.  He unilaterally decided that he didn’t want Virginia to be on the wrong side of history.  The wrong side of history?  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I hate to lecture Mr. Herring, but he should know that there is no wrong side of history, imho. Of course, there are mistakes that man has made throughout history.  We have changed and adapted as we have learned.   I think that those who are quick to lay blame are judging actions through the lens of hindsight, rather than through the eyes of collective wisdom which is added to every day that we exist.   To me, there is no right or wrong side to history.  There is only documentation of what has occurred.  Of course, we can judge what is right or wrong, but only within the current cultural and social context.  In order to learn and adapt to an ever changing world, we shouldn’t need to dwell on applying blame for past actions.  Instead, we should focus on learning and adapting, based on the mistakes which we have corrected over time.

For example, Hitler’s actions in WWII could be considered to be on the wrong side of history.  I just don’t perceive him or his actions in that manner, semantically speaking.  Obviously, he was a bad person and his ideas and actions were wrong.  We in the western world needed to step up and defeat him.  However, my contention is that to describe Hitler as being on the wrong side of history is illogical.  History doesn’t have a right of wrong side.  History is only a record of what has occurred in the past.  We learn from the past and we attempt to correct our mistakes and build on our successes which are defined within the current cultural milieu.   

And, my contention is that we shouldn’t arbitrarily decide that we absolutely know what the future holds and base our present decisions and actions on that supposition.  Certainly, we can suppose a future which we think may be better for mankind and work toward those goals.  But, we shouldn’t unilaterally decide to ignore the present laws of the land and ignorantly assume that over half of the Virginia voters are on the wrong side of history.  That type of decision making belongs only in the dark mythological realm of Nostradamus and others of that ilk.

POSTSCRIPT:

Most of the readers of this text might think twice about my assertions regarding notions about the wrong side of history.  I agree that my arguments are weak.  However, I think that if you tended toward that specific belief, you would also tend to agree with what I said. And, I think that you might also agree that the art of wordsmithing can be worked to its maximum by creative writers and can convince some unaware readers to accept notions which aren’t necessarily true or germane to a discussion.

Just be aware of what you read.  Don’t be taken in by the cleverness of the author.  Instead, look at the facts on both sides of any argument and then make the best decision you can.

Class dismissed.

SCC Luncheon

My wife and I bounded into Morgan’s Steakhouse around 12:03 p.m. to meet up with some of our old work friends and their families.  The engineers who ran the Spartus Computer Center back in the eighties and nineties were the primary participants.  We had all retired by now and were trying to enjoy our lives after work.  Jimmy J., who was the master of ceremonies, got the party rolling by asking each participant to briefly state how they were enjoying retirement and how they were currently occupying their time.

As everyone took turns talking about their current and past lives, a recurring theme for many was that they stayed retired for a few weeks or a few months, but then went back to work at another job in order defeat the boredom of the day or to make some extra cash for luxuries and necessities that the retirement pension didn’t quite cover.  However, all of us didn’t succumb to that temptation.  I’d say that forty percent of us quit thinking about the job the day we retired and never once thought about another job.  We tended to sharpen our focus on more mundane aspects of life, like improving our golf scores or beating out our buddies for the biggest fish catch of the day.

Of course, there were some sad stories that were told.  One person had lost his wife to cancer over the last year.  That news hit all of us hard.  It just tends to remind us that we only borrow a few days of consciousness and awareness before we retreat back into another dimension that is beckoning for some, frightening for others, but, in reality, undeterminable in the absolute sense for everyone.  But, today, after a few seconds of contemplation, we quickly returned to the joy of the present and embraced the opportunity to enjoy old friends and fellow workers while we could.

When my turn came to sum up my retirement years, I talked only about my new grandson and my latest golf scores which were improving.  I quickly realized that I had no great plans to continue to strive or to achieve in any sense.  For me, I had that opportunity while I was working.  My achievements were ordinary, but I am still proud of what I accomplished while working.  I guess that I choose to sugar coat the past to make it palatable enough to accept and to treat the negatives as life experiences from which I learned valuable lessons, rather than reasons to look back with any conscious level of sadness, anger or remorse.

As is usually the case, after a while, we all settled down and started conversations with those who were within easy talking distance.  I was lucky to have sat down with Harry, who was one of my old golf buddies and somebody who could keep a conversation light and enjoyable.  Somehow, the chatting turned to his grandson, who was now a sophomore in high school.  After a long soliloquy about the injustice of parents having to pay for their kids to play high school sports, he started talking about the potential that he saw in his grandson.  He had the size to become a lineman on either side of the ball.  He weighed in at two hundred eighty five pounds and was six feet three inches tall.  I was impressed with those numbers.  One cannot think about playing sports at the college or pro levels without having specific physical traits which fall within the acceptable range.  You’re just not going to get the opportunity to play right guard for Alabama if you are five foot eleven and one hundred eighty pounds.

But, Harry was worried about his grandson’s height.  Six foot six or seven might be the lower bound for Alabama.  Therefore, he might have to accept a scholarship with a mid-tier school like Maryland or Syracuse.

Anyway, we spent an hour discussing our perceived notions about the potential for his grandson in the athletic arena.  It was an enjoyable and entertaining conversation for several of us at our table.  But, what I liked about the conversation was the friendly and casual atmosphere that the subject created.  It was a time well spent for me.

But, too soon, the waitress came around with the bill and we reluctantly paid up and quickly departed back to our regular lives while also hoping that we would have the opportunity to see some of these same characters a year from now.  More stories will be spun, more people will be suddenly struck with the realities of life, but we will also be able to enjoy a simple and casual conversation about some small, but important, aspects of our lives.

I look forward to next year.

An old man and a computer

Last week, my friend Jake decided to upgrade to a new computer.  Both of us had experience as computer users and implementers.  So, how hard could it be?  Both of us figured that we could get that thing up and running in a couple of hours, at the most.  Of course, we were both in our early seventies and hadn’t quite kept up with the technological innovations that are running rampant today.  But, hey, any hard problem can turn into an easy solution if we put our minds to it, or so we thought.

I walked into the room where Jake had laid out all of the piece parts for the computer.  I tackled the easiest part of the puzzle first.  I quickly put the monitor parts together and hooked the VGA cable up to the computer.  Then, I looked at the mouse and keyboard.  Uh oh…wireless.  I’d never personally used that type of hardware.  So, I looked both parts over and found that both units had a little button labeled connect.  Okay, I thought, just put the parts close to the computer and hold the button down.  I surmised that they should automatically connect to a wireless receiver inside the computer via Bluetooth after I turned on the computer.

After turning on the computer and listening to the hard drive spin for a few seconds, a message came on the monitor screen telling me to accept some disclaimer.  I immediately started moving the mouse to click on that box, but quickly realized that the mouse wasn’t working.  Of course… it hadn’t been connected yet.  Now, this was a quandary to me.  I need the computer up and running to connect the mouse wirelessly, but I also need the computer to have booted up to the point that the wireless connection to the mouse and keyboard can be completed.  Of course, I could have read some instructions applicable to this process, but that would make it too easy, I thought.  If I can’t solve this problem without reading the instructions, then it’s not worth solving.

I sat back and thought about the problem for a few minutes.  I pressed the connect button on the mouse and keyboard a few times.  I contemplated my navel for another few minutes.  Nothing…nada…zilch.  I took the batteries out of both units and inspected them.  Then, I decided to just look over the piece parts that were lying around to see if something might inspire me.  There was one tiny box that had contained the VGA cable.  I looked inside and discovered a tiny USB dongle which was hidden away inside the cardboard creases.  A USB dongle.  That’s it!!!  That’s what I was missing.  I quickly extracted the dongle, hooked it up to the back of the computer, moved the mouse close to the dongle and pressed connect.  Voila.  Victory.  I did the same for the keyboard.  Now, we were rolling.  The computer booted up and Windows 8 was finally being activated.

So, we had been working for an hour and had only gotten to the point where the operating system was starting to work.  I began to contemplate a long, long day.  We took a break while the computer was activating itself.   Our casual conversation tilted toward the time the first PC’s arrived at work.  The one I got in my group was a clunker.  It had no hard drive, just two floppy drives.  The operating system was MS-DOS.  It was incapable of doing much more than word processing.  But, in my mind’s eye, it was one of the greatest pieces of technology that I had ever seen.  I was dumbfounded by the potential that was obviously there in that nondescript looking box that could convert millions of ones and zeroes into one unique and magical experience.

After a half hour respite and a deep contemplation of past glories, our project continued flawlessly until we decided that it was time to transfer the old computer files to the new computer.  That seemed like an easy job.  What could possibly go wrong?  We decided to use a 1G flash drive to transfer the files.  I got into windows explorer and selected the files I needed to transfer and then used the copy/paste routine to get the files onto the flash drive and then transferred to the hard drive of the new computer.  Everything worked perfectly, or at least I thought it did.  Jake decided to make a quick check to make sure that all of the files that he needed to transfer had indeed been transferred successfully.

I took another break, secure in the assumption that I had masterfully completed the transfer.  However, after only a few seconds of perusing, Jake said, “All of the files aren’t on the hard drive.  They seem to be on the flash drive but not on the hard drive.  My response was an incredulous, “What???  No way.”  My first thought was that the copy/paste process had skipped some of the lower level subfolders.  So, I decided to run through the process again after opening all of the folders for view.  That didn’t work.  I tried using a DVD disk for the transfer.  No change.

So, I decided that I needed to look at the properties of the files and folders themselves.  Was there something different about the files that weren’t getting copied?  I right clicked on one of the offending folders and then clicked properties.  Whoa!!!   The folder had been declared hidden by someone.  Even though the folders appeared on the screen of the old computer, they had been declared hidden and thus not able to be copied to the hard drive on the new computer.  So, I went through all of the folders and removed the hidden designation.  Then, after copying and pasting again, all of the files and folders appeared.  Success.

Finally, after hours of finding and fixing other problems which popped up incessently, the computer came alive and was ready for use.  There was this intriguing issue about activating the wireless capability of the e-printer, but that story is for another day.  I was proud of the fact that it only took me nine hours to complete the job.  Heck, I usually can’t stay awake for that many consecutive hours.

As a result of this humbling experience, I came up with this bit of folk wisdom:  As one’s age approaches eighty, the time required to solve complex problems approaches infinity.  I still believe that there is no problem that cannot be solved.  Grand solutions will come, but time will be the governing construct.

After we had finished the job and I was heading toward Jake’s front door, he offhandedly said, “You know, I’m thinking about buying a Roku to stream Netflix movies to my big screen TV.”  I responded with, “That sounds great.  We should be able to get that to work in less than an hour.  No problem.  Meanwhile, I’m going to be at the golf course tomorrow.  Do you want to join me?   Playing eighteen holes of golf is ten times better than jockeying technology for nine hours.”

 

A tribute to the Ohio State group

           Yeah, we were a motley crew in the beginning.  Somehow, we just happened to run into each other while playing online matches or we were friends of friends.  But, we quickly formed a friendly bond and a repartee between us.  We were online buddies, for sure.  And, to me, we were real friends; not just virtual ones.  Of course, many members came and went over the months.  And, there were minor spats and skirmishes along the way.  But, after a while, leaders emerged and roles were taken, some by force and some by happenstance.

I, for one, just happened to fall into the group leader role at the beginning.  The only reason I took on the job was to attempt to preserve the old Ohio State group which had succumbed to in-house bickering and ego battles.  So, I attempted to take on the role of head mediator and cheer leader for the group.  I was a manager in real life before I retired, so I knew how to organize groups and cajole them into becoming cohesive units who could and would work together to achieve both individual and group goals.

But, finally, I grew tired of that role and decided to let someone else take over as leader.  I thought that I could then move into the background and enjoy the game as one of the members who contributed to the group when possible, but mainly just sat back and enjoyed the tournaments and the friendships that the group had developed.

Well, obviously, that didn’t work out as I had planned.  I found that I still wanted to be the leader without the responsibilities which came with that leadership role.  I had forgotten my own training and my own lifelong experiences.  I screwed up.   But, heck, I screw up something every day of my life.  I just try to learn from my mistakes and move on without making that mistake again.  It’s all about taking a chance or a risk and then seeing what happens.

For me, that one small bump in the road doesn’t really obviate all of the positive experiences we had while part of that group.  Others stepped up in my absence and did a hell of a job.  I’m proud of them.  And, I think that we all learned important life lessons, but I also think that all of us had a fantastic time playing the game and interacting with each other.  It was a wonderful experience that I will never forget.   I hope that most of you feel the same and will always look back on our experiences as memorable and well worth the time we spent there.

But, all of that rationalization isn’t really what I wanted to say.  Now, I want to get to my purpose here.   I want to give some recognition to those who I got to know the best and give them one positive thought to remember about their experiences during their time as group members.  So, just as a little tribute I’m going to mention a group member’s name, compare him or her to a real golfer and say why there is a resemblance between the two.  .

                Str8r:  Ben Hogan.  Like Hogan, str8 is a tough player who gives no quarter in a match.  One time, Hogan’s playing partner hit a hole in one on a hole that Hogan birdied.  Hogan never acknowledged his partner’s shot in any way.  And, when they were walking off of the green to the next hole, Hogan just glanced at his partner and said something like, “That’s the first time I birdied that hole this week.”

                Catz:  Lee Trevino.  Like Trevino, catz is a fierce competitor but was also the guy who makes playing the game fun and always interesting.  And, catz can be subtle in his methodical harassment.  I sometimes set up matches with previews on.  Most people didn’t like that, and told me so.  But, I continued to use previews occasionally.  Well, I happened to have a match with catz at Augusta.  I went up two strokes on him at the turn.  He then said something like, “Oh, I just noticed that putt previews are on.  I hadn’t realized that.”  It took me a long time to realize that he was gently telling me that he didn’t like using previews in online matches. 

                Mashie:  Jack Nicklaus.  Like Nicklaus, mashie is a great player, but also a person who always remembers that there is a right way to do things and that is the way that it should be done.  Always.  I’ll never forget that match we had at Oakmont.    Alnight and I were paired against mashie and leeeluu in an alternate shot match.  I didn’t play that well, but alnight kept us in the match for seventeen holes.  We were one down on eighteen and I had a thirty footer to win the hole.  Somehow, I made it and the match went into extra holes.  When we got on the tee to start the playoff, mashie told leeeluu, “Don’t let up now.  We’re not going to lose to these guys.”  After two perfect drives, I pulled my approach shot twenty feet long and a little left while mashie hit his to within five feet.  Leeeluu doesn’t miss five footers.  Game over.

                Alnight:  Tiger Woods.  Like Tiger, alnight intimidates his opponents by just walking up to the tee.  And, he is the greatest chipper of the ball, ever.  During one of our alternate shot online matches, he started encouraging me to miss the green so that he could chip the ball.  I did just barely miss the green four or five times.  And, you know what?  He made every one of those chips.

                Ranoton:   Rocco Mediate.  Like Rocco, Randy has an unbounded enthusiasm for the game, and, really, life itself.  For him, nothing seems impossible, even though, somewhere, deep in his mind, he knows that his reach does exceed his grasp.  However, he is quite comfortable with that, as he should be.  A few years back, Rocco sat down on a chair in the locker room at the U.S. Open.  Unfortunately, the chair collapsed and he has had back problems ever since.  But, that incident was just one small aspect of his life story.  It wasn’t a reason to lament or say, “What if?”  For Rocco, it was only a definer for what he could accomplish with what he now has.

                Leeeluu:   Lanny Wadkins.  Like Wadkins, leeeluu knows that she can beat you, not just because she has the physical gifts, but, also, more importantly, the mindset that exudes unbridled confidence.  When she looks at a ten foot putt, she knows that she is going to make it.  In one online match that I remember, she was playing with her bud, mashie, and he had left her with a ten or twelve footer that had just a hint of an inch or two of break.  She promptly said, “Thanks mashie for leaving me that easy putt.”  Mashie responded with, “Be careful, leeeluu, there is a break in there.”  But, before mashie had finished typing his reply, she had already drained the putt.

                Robertminidriver:  Moe Norman.  Like Norman, robert was never the best player around, but, he had a great homemade swing that he somehow made work…most of the time.  One time, Moe was playing with Snead, and he casually asked Sam how to play this particular hole.  Sam said something like, “See that walking bridge two hundred fifty yards down the fairway?  Just bounce your ball across that.”  Moe then stepped up to the ball, took a mighty swing and bounced it right across the bridge.  That’s the way I am.  I can hit it straight most of the time, but, like Moe, I eventually let the demons in my mind get in the way of my muscle feel.

                Well, fellows, there are many, many more stories I could tell.  But, I’m running out of steam.  Feel free to share some tales that you will remember for a long time.

                I had a great, great time playing Tiger Woods online.  Thanks for those memories that get enhanced every day.  Eventually, I will have been the king and alnight my caddy.  NOT…

                And, Randy will remember how he scored -36 at Wolf Creek in the finals of the fioga league to win it all.  Way to go, Randy!!!

                Catz will remember the day he drank a case of Wobbly Pop but still beat mashie nine up in a match at Augusta…………………………………………………..

Another Day at the Driving Range

                I haven’t been spending much time at the golf driving range lately.  In truth, I’ve let my game slip away a little bit.  I had some health issues a few years back and foolishly embraced the notion that if I couldn’t play at a certain level, I wasn’t going to play at all.  And, certainly, if I wasn’t going to play, I wasn’t going to waste my time practicing.

                However, I finally decided to accept my physical limitations and start practicing again in the hopes of making it back out onto those hallowed grounds that laymen describe as a golf course, but real golfers think of as the closest thing that they can find that represents a little glimpse of heaven on earth.  The going was a little tough at first.  I had forgotten the little nuances that made my golf swing work.  For example, I forgot that I need to hold the right elbow close to my body in the initial stages of the backswing in order create the correct swing plane.  As for the follow through, I need to rotate the right hand over the left through impact in order to avoid slicing or pushing the ball.  At least I think that those are truisms that apply to my golf swing.  Maybe they’re not and that is the reason that I’m not able to replicate my old golf swing, which wasn’t pretty, but was effective enough for me to play at an average level and to enjoy every minute on the golf course, no matter my score.

                So, yesterday, I headed out to the local driving range in hopes of discovering or rediscovering those golf swing nuances which would allow me to play at my former level.  I bought a small bucket of range balls, which, upon inspection, looked like they had been recovered from the bottom of the retention pond which masqueraded as a water hazard on the second hole of the golf course adjacent to the range.  As I bought the balls, I ruminated on the fact that I was giving the guy who owned the golf course the equivalent of ten cents a ball in order to enjoy the privilege of taking one whack at each of those forty balls.  That’s quite a racket, if you can get away with it.  And, he can get away with it, since he owns the only driving range in a thirty mile radius.   But, hey, my rationalization was that I was getting some exercise, enjoying the warm sun on the back of my neck and feeling one with nature for a few minutes.   Plus, I was improving my golf game, or at least I was hoping that was the case.

                However, this day, I didn’t learn much about golf.  I did learn a little about myself and how humans interact with one another in different contexts.  Let’s just say that everything didn’t go as planned.  First, after walking down to the range area, I noticed a group of kids running around and chattering.  That’s never a good sign.  An unknown grandpa, in his infinite wisdom, had decided that it was a good idea to bring the kids over to the driving range and teach them how to play golf.  Unfortunately, teaching wasn’t going to be a high priority this day.  The grandkids took up half of the driving range area running, yelling and attempting to be as obnoxious as they could be.  I must say that they were highly successful at achieving those specific goal sets.

                I walked over to the far side of the range, away from the kids, and started to tee up my first ball and begin my practice session.  Before I took my first shot, I heard what sounded like a lawn mower coming toward me.  I discovered that it was a John Deere tractor pulling a chemical dispersing device used to spread weed and feed on the grassy areas of the course and driving range.   The driver obviously wanted to spread his chemicals on the driving range but was temporarily foiled by grandpa, the grandkids and me.  So, he decided to park his vehicle twenty feet from where I was standing and I guessed that he was going to just sit there and watch us until we were finished and then complete his present mission.  Now, for me, it would have been better for him to treat another area at this time and then come back later to treat the driving range.  But, that’s just me.  He seemed determined to treat the range first, and if that meant that he would need to wait a half hour to start, so be it.

                I gave him the evil eye for a few minutes, which encouraged him to come over to where I was standing and clean out the sand dispensers while asking me if I was having a good day.  I told him that, so far, everything was going well.  So, I had to decide.  With all of this confusion and hubbub, was it really worth hitting balls today?  I decided that since I had paid four dollars and eighty cents to hit these balls, I should get to it.  I would just use these distractions as a test of my concentration expertise, which, in all honestly, was approaching zero as fast as the line defining the tail of a normalized bell curve measured at three sigma. 

                I had brought my seven iron and driver that particular day.  I usually use the seven iron to warm up with and then switch to my driver for serious practice.  So, I teed up my first ball and used my seven iron to hit it flush right down the middle of the range.  A beautiful shot it was.  I was proud of myself for even hitting the ball, given the distractions which were all around me.  So, with that success in hand, I decided to immediately switch to the driver.   I teed up the next ball off of my left instep, performed a few waggles, and let it go.  That particular day, I was concentrating on rotating my right hand over my left through impact.  So, that was where my mind was during the swing sequence.  Right over left, right over left…   Well, as I was bringing the club down towards the ball, I did move my right hand over my left, but I waited a millisecond too long.  The ball headed right, about thirty degrees away from my target.  I casually watched the flight of the ball as it headed toward the side of the range area.  As the ball approached the ground, I happened to spot a golfer directly in the ball’s path.  I guessed that this golfer had wandered into the driving range area after having sliced his own ball.  My ball was heading right at him.  At what seemed to be the right time, the golfer did a quick jump to the left and then to the right.  He didn’t look like he was trying to get out of the way of an incoming missile.  He looked more like he was having a spasm of some kind.  I thought to myself, “Oh no.  I just hit that goofus.” 

                I was far enough away from the guy that I wasn’t able to hear what he was saying as he started yelling in my direction.  I thought to myself that at least I had hit the ball far enough so that I couldn’t decipher the words clearly.  But, I could sure tell that he was angry.  He stood still for about a half of a minute while letting go with what I assumed to be the best profanities that he could muster at the time.  I decided to just stand motionless and stare back at him.  I guess that I should have yelled something inane like, “Sorry,” or some such platitude, but I didn’t feel any compulsion to do so.  My idea was that he had infiltrated into the demilitarized zone and had been inadvertently wounded by some wayward artillery.  Thems the breaks, I felt.

                After his tirade, he threw a ball down and hit his shot.  He hit it too high and it grazed a branch of a tree that was near his preferred flight path.  Then, he gave me one more menacing glance and headed towards his ball.

                I assured myself that I was neither worried nor concerned about the sequence of events which had just transpired.  I was, however, in the state of mind that obviated my ability to glean any helpful wisdom from that day’s practice session, no matter how many more balls I hit.  So, I casually pushed over the bucket of balls with my driver head and nonchalantly walked to my truck and headed home.  Some would call that experience a waste of time.  But, for me, it was an opportunity to observe how real people in real situations react to everyday happenstances and to ponder how much or how little they learned from that unique opportunity.  I know that I gained some wisdom and insight into the human psyche that day.  But, I also know that I didn’t gain any additional knowledge to help me improve my golf swing.

                Ah, maybe tomorrow.

The Obama Way

They had a poll the other day.  I happened upon the results while casually perusing the www and scarfing down my morning breakfast cereal.  At first glance, the poll seemed to be non-controversial.  In fact, it seemed useless to me.  Who cares what people like on their ice cream?  It’s a personal choice.  And, there are myriad choices which are just as good as or better than any other choice.  It depends on your palate at the moment of ingestion, I opine.

The poll question was simple.   Which do you like better as a topping for a serving of ice cream:  chocolate syrup or bacon bits?

The answer seemed obvious to me.  Who in their right mind is going to want bacon flavor on his ice cream.  Well, the results showed a favorability rating of ninety percent for the chocolate syrup.  It was a no-brainer, indeed.

Somehow, over the next few days, I noticed some more articles about this inane subject.  The White House suddenly became interested in this poll.  President Obama, in his infinite wisdom, decided that the study needed more analysis.  He thought that there was an epiphany lurking somewhere within the data; a nugget of wisdom that nobody else had ever discovered; a gem of prophesy that foretold the future as related to the survival of all mankind, maybe.

After a few days, he apparently decided that he couldn’t hold back the wisdom that he felt within himself.  He had to let it out.  He had to allow the world to see inside the wonder which was his own perfect mind.  So, he hastily called a news conference to discuss his ideas on the subject.  Here are some excerpts from his speech.

“My fellow Americans, I’ve discovered a problem that can be resolved.  I’ve found that ninety percent of the people who live in this great republic prefer chocolate syrup on their ice cream.  I’m in total agreement with this assessment.  So, I’m going to petition Congress to pass a law mandating that if any American decides to eat a bowl of ice cream, chocolate syrup must be used as a topping, without exception.  We cannot allow ten percent of our population to unilaterally decide which topping that they want.  My gosh, someone from West Virginia might want to put bacons bits on ice cream.  What a travesty that would be.  We cannot stand idly by without making a stand and doing the right thing.  If ninety percent of the people living in this great country prefer chocolate on their ice cream, we should create a law mandating that preference.  And, we should create a cabinet entity to ensure that this mandate is followed.  We’ll build a grand edifice in Prince George’s County to house the government workers who will oversee this process.  And, by creating this governmental entity, we will be creating jobs for that particular county and generate revenue for the cash strapped state of Maryland.  I’ll provide more details in the days ahead.”

Well, over the next few weeks, I followed the progress of this particular legislative maneuvering with great interest and greater expectation.  After going through the labyrinth of congressional maneuvering, the proposal came to a vote and was defeated in the Senate by a margin of three votes.  Needless to say, our great President was devastated by the news.  According to reliable reports, he could not understand how the Congress could have the temerity to vote against a proposal which was supported by ninety percent of the American people.    As far as I can tell, he is going to continue this battle until he can prevail.  Or until his rental property contract on Pennsylvania Avenue expires.    

A rant about the RG3 injury

It’s easy to second guess all of the decisions made by both Shanny and RG3 with regard to the QB’s injury, which might keep him out for at least a year. However, I’m going to try to go back in time while filtering out what did happen and instead focus on what could have and should have happened in response to his injuries.

In the Baltimore game, RG3 played only a handful of snaps after his injury. It was easy to decide when he should have come out of the game. I see no problem in the way Shanny or RG3 handled that situation. RG3 tried to go, but it was obvious that he couldn’t. And, his youthful exuberance allowed him to sneak in those couple of plays after he was hurt.

But, in the playoff game, things are a little murkier. Here’s where I’m going to go back in time and attempt to filter out the hindsight that is provided when one looks back into the past. Someone once said that when we look back at history, it is quite difficult for us humans to be able to dissect past events and conjure up different ways that history could have actually played itself out. For a radical example, many cannot fathom or even contemplate the fact that Hitler didn’t have to rise to power, kill six million innocents and almost bring civilization to its knees. Hitler could have been and should have been foiled at hundreds of steps along the road he traveled to gain power in Germany and then carry out his fascist plans to attempt to take over the world. But, it wasn’t inevitable that he wrestled control over the government of Germany. He could have been stopped in 1939, but he wasn’t. The bottom line is that the history that we remember and read about wasn’t inevitable. History happens because too many of us let it happen.

So, what does that analogy have to do with the RG3 injury context? Well, too many people let the injury scenario play itself out without being proactive enough to change the course of history. Dr. Andrews could have stepped in and told Shanny that it was his professional opinion that RG3 risked permanent injury after he saw RG3’s knee buckle on the end zone throw to Garcon during the playoff game. Shanny saw the knee buckle also. He could have and should have pulled him out right then. But, he didn’t. Why? Well, to me, we need to go back to that point in time while filtering out the hindsight that we gained by watching history play itself out.

So, what do we suppose that Shanny was thinking at that point when RG3’s knee buckled on the throw to Garcon? I believe that he watched the play unfold in front of him and then watched the replay on the stadium screen and thought deeply about what his next move should be. We have to understand that Shanny has been coaching for decades at the highest level of pro football. He’s seen dozens of players get hurt and still play. Notice that I said hurt, not injured. It’s usually obvious when a player is injured. He gets carted off of the field and goes to the hospital. Obviously, RG3 was hurt, but was he injured? I don’t think that Shanny knew the answer to that question.

The obvious example that Shanny was living with every week for several weeks was the health of London Fletcher. Fletcher was so hurt that he couldn’t practice at all during the week. However, he came out every Sunday and still played at a pro bowl level. He was obviously hurt. But, he was able to play through the pain and perform his duties.

So, I believe that Shanny’s decision making was skewed in the direction of determining the fine line between being hurt and being injured, and decided that RG3 was hurt, but not hurt bad enough to impair his play making ability.

Then, once he made that decision, it was easy for him to allow RG3 to stay in the game. He only had to look back one week and remember how impaired RG3 was in the Dallas game but also how well he threw from the pocket. RG3 won the Dallas game while playing hurt. I believe that Shanny believed that RG3 could do the same thing in the playoff game. In fact, why would he think any differently? Football players play hurt. That’s what they do. That’s why they make millions of dollars to play a silly game. We fans admire those who take a risk, who play hurt, who put everything on the line. And, we abhor the thought of anyone taking himself out of the game because he is hurt. We expect the player to only come out when he has to be carted off of the field or when the coach decides to pull him because he is ineffective. The player never comes off willingly.

I remember what happened to players who unilaterally decided that they were hurt enough to take themselves out of the game. I remember LT taking himself out of a playoff game a couple of years ago. The coach didn’t like LT’s decision. And, the fans went crazy. They let it be known that LT should have played through whatever health problem he had.

The same thing happened to Jay Cutler. He decided that he wasn’t helping the team because his back was acting up a little. So, he took himself out of the game. The fans went crazy again. It took Cutler a year to recover his reputation.

So, players have learned that there is an unwritten code that decrees that thou shall not come out of a game unless they carry you out.

And, coaches buy into this philosophy by embracing it as their own. Successful coaches and players know that they must buy into these “truths” and not waiver, either in action or spoken word.

So, was Shanny right in the way he handled the RG3 injury? No, obviously not. But, I think that if we can enable ourselves to go back in time and put ourselves into the environmental context in which the players and coaches live, we might have made the same decisions.

But, we really cannot know what we would have done if we were faced with similar decision making scenarios in real time and needed to make decisions which affect hundreds of people.

We can feel that we would do the right thing. But, we must walk in those shoes and have to make those decisions on the spot before we know how we would have performed.

In hindsight, it’s obvious that Shanny made the wrong decisions. Andrews wasn’t forceful enough in letting Shanny know that RG3 needed to come out. RG3’s youthful exuberance clouded his judgment so much that he made several bad decisions.

But, do you think that you would have done better?

A rant about the game, Tiger Woods PGA Tour: The Masters.

I’ve been laid up for a while with various health issues, so I spend some of my day filling time by playing an online golf game called Tiger Woods PGA Tour: The Masters. It’s a good game created by EA Sports. There are about a dozen golf course layouts to choose from and various ways you can choose to hit the golf ball. It’s basically a test of your hand-eye coordination rather than a test of strength. Also, there is a fair bit of strategy involved in deciding how to compensate for elevation changes, wind, fast greens, breaking putts, etc. And, you can choose to play very easy setups where you can score twenty under par or you can set a course up so that par is an excellent score.

I’ve been playing the game for a few years now. It does break up my day and also gives me something to look forward to in the morning. I’m part of a group of golfers who play every day. I’m one of the administrators who choose the setup parameters for the daily tournaments in which we compete. We have four other admins, but I usually do all of the setups. I don’t know how that chore fell on my shoulders, but I readily accept the job without much complaining from myself or other members of the group.

All of the group members are long time players and are all quite good. Some are better than others but we all seem to get along fairly well. Of course, there are disagreements and arguments about cheating, restarting games to improve scores and sniping about who is gaining an unfair advantage of some kind. But, we are all veterans enough to know that we cannot control the other players or convince them to do anything that they don’t want to do. So, we have taken a benevolent approach by stating what we believe to be fair and how we think that the game should be played, and then let each individual member decide how to conduct himself when he plays. That methodology seems to fit the overall personality of the group. Live and let live. And, if things go wrong, complain a little but then get over it and move on to the next game.

But, having said all of that, the only reason I, personally, keep playing the silly game is because of the interesting characters that I run across. I play matches and tournaments with group members but also venture out and play anyone who happens to want to play in online matches any time of the day. This is a world-wide game, so you can be playing with a feisty German teenager one match and a congenial old farmer from Wisconsin the next.

But, boy, have I run into some characters. Just as in real life, you run into obnoxious people who you have to give up on, but, luckily, many friendly folks who you think that you would like to have as a lifelong friend. However, you don’t ever really know with whom you are dealing. For example, I met a person who called himself PennGolfer1955. We played each other in some online matches and were evenly matched. We became online friends and had some good conversations while we were playing our matches. He eventually invited me into a group that he had created and for which I’m an administrator right now. But, the funny thing to me was that he initially took on the persona of a middle aged blue collar guy with a goatee. Then, after we had been playing for months, he suddenly took on the persona of a middle aged woman who started to have these feminine feelings and grave issues with bad behavior on the net. I couldn’t believe it. So, who was this person who suddenly morphed into a completely different personality and gender? Eventually, PennGolfer1955 got flummoxed by her perceived discontent with supposed cheating and bad conduct on the net. So, she quit the group that she had created, developed a new personality and persona, changed her persona name and is still playing today. I don’t really know her real background or story but can certainly conjure up some ideas about her motives and her emotional state.

But, to me, that’s what makes the interaction with these other golfers interesting and compelling. They all have a back story and a reason for playing, but I will never know for sure what motives and incentives compel them to get on the internet every day and play this silly game.

I know that people lie about their backgrounds and motives because, I, myself, do. My web personality which I try to portray is a congenial old guy who used to be a managerial type in a large corporation but is now retired. However, he still carries that supervisory baggage with him and enjoys attempting to cajole others into seeing his viewpoint on life without demanding anything from anybody. I may be a little like that in real life, but, in reality, that is what I’d like to be, rather than what I am. Why I see that type of personality as one to mimic, I don’t know. And, I never have tried to analyze why I like that type of personality. I just do.

Back to other personalities, I have enjoyed playing a “female” who calls herself RoseOfCappilone. It’s an interesting name which automatically gives her an air of sophistication and a modicum of aloofness. She is a very good player and a compelling personality who is quick to praise others and tends to be unassuming when that attitude is appropriate. However, when she plays, she has the instincts of a killer. She is aggressive in her shot selection and never plays safe. In other words, she plays like a man but acts in a way that many perceive to be as girly or feminine in nature. So, is she a man playing with a female persona or is she a woman playing like she perceives a man would play because she can’t or won’t take on that type of role in real life? I’ll never know.

Then, there are the guys who act and play as one would expect. Most of them talk about sports and beer and how they are going to beat the crap out of you the next time you play them. I feel comfortable with this type of personality because it fits my perception of what men say and do. The only issue that comes up for me is how close to their real personalities are they projecting? I think that most are conveying their real life personalities while subtly hiding or obfuscating any blemishes that might diminish their concept of themselves. That is one great thing about the net. You can hide your deficits while always projecting the image you want.

Let me talk about some more of the great personalities I’ve run into. One of the best is a guy who calls himself Catman43. He says he’s a middle aged codger from Canada who is devoted to his wife and his beer. Now, who wouldn’t like a guy who projects that image? You can’t dislike him. He tries to come across as a mild mannered guy who would be a great real life golf buddy; one who is a devoted friend but will also beat you senseless on the golf course anytime he gets the chance. But, win or lose, he’s always gracious after the match is over. My perception is that, in real life, he is used to winning most of the time and doesn’t take it well anytime he loses, even if it’s a silly game on the computer against some unknown person from West Virginia. I think that he revels in beating his opponent but knows how to act when he does win and, also, when he occasionally loses. Now, that’s the kind of person I can relate to. Be a winner, but always be an unassuming and gracious winner or loser. That’s the image that he is trying to project and that is the way he is in real life, I believe.

Then, there are the obnoxious ones. I set up a match the other day and waited for someone to join me. I had set the preview parameter on so that you can get help in lining up your putts. You can find the exact line but you still must hit your marks perfectly in order to make the putt. There are purists in the game who think that previews are an anathema. They are repelled by the very idea of getting magical help in lining up one’s putts. I, myself, always take the view that any help or edge you can get in sports is fine. If the rules allow it, I’m going to take advantage of it. Now, most of the members of my group are purists and want no previews. I can see their logic and usually set up the games without previews. But, when I’m playing outside the group, I usually use previews. Well, back to the game, I sat and waited for a competitor for a few moments and had almost decided that there were no takers for my particular setup. But, then, a person named LeaLew suddenly appeared. We clicked in and were waiting for the game to start. This process always takes a few seconds. I was mindlessly waiting to get started when, out of the blue, a message from LeaLew appeared on the screen. She said, “You know you shouldn’t set up matches with previews. That’s just not done.” Well, I thought to myself, I do it all of the time and this is the first person to ever complain about it. The thing is that a person can check the setup before he decides to join the game. So, LeaLew knew that I had set previews on before she clicked into the match. So, that irritated me to no end. At first, I was going to try to placate her in some manner. But, then, I decided to let my true personality come out for once. So, I just kindly said, “Too bad. If you don’t like the setup, then quit.”

[Note: that was a cleaned up version of what I actually said.]

She responded, “Oh, I can see that I’m going to have to turn chat off. That wasn’t very mature of you.”

I decided to wait until the game started before going to my next move. The person who sets up the match is the first to hit. So, I had the honors and was on the tee ready to shoot. But, I had also set the timer parameter to off, which means that I have an infinite amount of time to take my shot. So, I decided to just stand there on the first tee and see how she would react.
She waited around two minutes and then finally said, “Well, this is ridiculous. I’m not waiting forever for you to take your shot.” She then exited the game.

Now, you may wonder why I decided to be so obnoxious. Well, there’s a rule in the game that says if you quit a game before it’s over, you are penalized. The game keeps track of how many times you quit a match and always shows that parameter when you set up a game. So, if your DNF, or Did Not Finish, percentage is high, many are reluctant to play with you because they know that you tend to quit when things aren’t going your way. So, I decided that I wasn’t going to let LeaLew hurt my DNF percentage. Instead, I turned it back on her and make her increase her DNF.

Now, was that petty? Of course it was. Was it necessary? No, not really. So, why did I do it? That’s my true personality coming out. I can be pushed so far, but I’ll eventually push back. That push point is different for every person. But, now, you know mine. It’s really short.

So, you can get to know people by the way they react to situations in the game. It’s just like real life, only it’s not real.

Okay, I see that the internet has come back up. Time to find some more interesting characters!!!

How to fix the economy (or things I thought about while my Internet connection was down)

Note: This rant is only a stream of consciousness put into words. In reality, it means nothing and has no redeeming value. So, continue reading only if you are secure in your own concept of what is real and what is imagined.

Okay, so we are spending more on mandatory outlays than we are bringing in with the current tax structure. And, we obviously cannot do without discretionary outlays such as military expenditures and government workers. Our government cannot run on automatic.

So, what to do? What to do?... Well, we could cut social security. Nah, that won't work. We could cut medicare. No, that's a non-starter. And, medicaid is untouchable for obvious reasons.

In other words, we need to either increase taxes unilaterally or increase economic activity by producing more dynamic and salable goods and services which automatically generate increased tax revenues.

Or, we could do both. A first step is to increase taxes on everyone by ten percent. That means everyone, millionaires and low income alike. So, if someone is currently allowed to skip taxes altogether, now his government benefits would be reduced by ten percent. And, if a millionaire has taxable income of ten million dollars, he would automatically pay an extra million dollars in taxes.

That part of the solution is easy. People tend to accept mandates that can be defended as needed and are also applied equally across the whole population. We cannot allow anyone to dodge this new tax. If some people are spared from this mandate, a large percentage of the remaining population will tend to refuse to participate or attempt to create chaos and/or discord as a way to express disagreement.

The other part of the solution, increasing economical activity to produce increased governmental revenue, is a much more difficult task. For one thing, we must convince a considerable amount of the population to buy in to this idea. Many, many, of us have come to accept our lot in life and readily welcome what the government gives us. And, as a consequence, those of us who embrace this view will tend to continually vote for politicians who will tell us that our free ride will last forever. This way of thinking and the effects of this mindset produce an infinite loop of irrational thinking that is difficult to refute or change in any significant fashion.

Another example of applying irrational thinking to economic matters is the notion that many of us believe that we can grasp the American dream of a comfortable middle class life without having worked to master a marketable skill set which can set us apart in the job market. Just working hard is not enough. We must have skills which are marketable and valuable to our employer. If we don't have these skills, we will tend to eventually fall to the lower levels of the economic stratum even if we work hard and show up for work every day. Let me give you a hypothetical example to strengthen this idea. A kid comes out of high school and luckily lands a job at an automotive assembly plant. This kid has no particular skills but works hard and can put bumpers on Chevrolet Suburbans all day. Because he shows up on time and he works hard, he believes that he deserves a hefty raise every year. After some time, the kid has grown into a middle aged man who is now, with the assistance of his labor union, making a salary equivalent to a college professor or a commercial architect. However, eventually, the automobile company declares bankruptcy because management must increase the price of their product to the point that consumers can't afford to buy it.

This person has lost his job, not because of his unwillingness to work hard, but because the economic system allowed him to garner an unsustainable wage which was not backed up by any marketable skill set.

So, what should this kid have done to protect himself and thus allow him to continue to be a productive member of society who feels pride in his work ethic and who can readily switch jobs if a corporate collapse occurs. Well, he should jump at the chance to work at the plant. But, he shouldn't feel satisfied with mastering the minimal skill requirements for installing bumpers. Once he establishes himself as a valuable and able bumper installer, he should immediately request both a more demanding job and also the requisite formal education needed to do that job to the best of his ability. And, if that job requires a college degree, he should immediately enroll in classes and attempt to get that degree. If the job requires him to attend a trade school at night or on the weekends, he should grab that opportunity immediately. Trust me, an employer will always jump at the chance to help an employee become an invaluable asset. The boss is always looking for those who are willing to improve themselves.

The kid must always keep his best interests in mind also. He should want to acquire training which will help his current company but also push his training in the direction of developing marketable and transferrable skill sets. So, if and when the auto plant closes, he can easily find another job in the auto industry or in another type of work environment which can utilize his acquired skill sets.

The bottom line is that we, as a nation, need to instill the desire to be a productive and skilled into the heart and soul of every American citizen. And, we must richly reward those who buy into this mind set. How do we do this? For one thing, we, as individuals, can choose to lead by example. We can try to be the best we can be by working hard and studying hard to acquire marketable skill sets. We will be rewarded for that effort and we will set the standard for those of us who need to see how to get ahead and understand that a productive and diligent society can overcome economic downturns by outworking and outthinking our competitors both here and abroad.

To me, this is our only solution. We must convince our compatriots that we can only be proud of our lives when we are productive and contribute to society rather than live off of the government dole. Of course, there are many among us who cannot contribute as much as others because of physical and/or psychological anomalies which render us incapable of handling a normal job. We must help these people and we must not hold any animosity toward them. In fact, we should feel a sense of deep pride that we can help those who cannot help themselves.

And, for those among us who choose not to contribute as much as we could even though we have no legitimate reason for choosing this path other than apathy or a feeling of entitlement based on perceived sins or slights from the past, we need to instill a sense of responsibility to be a contributor, rather than a taker. But, dear readers, that is the big rub. How in the world can we accomplish this super-human feat?

Well, I'm sorry to say that I don't have a satisfactory answer. All of the answers I can personally conceive will not resonate with the current cultural constructs of today. I have to admit to defeat on this particular issue. Of course, I could devise myriad solutions which would work in a non-democratic environment which has no provisions for total equality and equal rights for everyone.

I'm not saying that we must give up on democracy and fall back into fascism, or communism or socialism. Those concepts have proven not to work in today's modern world.

What we need is a new form of government that defies the "tragedy of the commons" and opens up a new chapter in human development by eliminating the obvious flaws in our current cultural state. Unless or until we do, we will continually slide into an intolerable moribund state from which we can then rise above and begin anew; a continual flux, if you will, from intolerable to hopeful to acceptable to unknowable to intolerable, all within a span of a few centuries.

But, hey, none of us will be around to witness these maddening gyrations of human existence, so, I, for one, have decided to sit back, take a long swig of my wobbly pop and just laugh, laugh, laugh. I will live my existence as if I'm in a Saturday Night Live skit which laughs at the absurdity of modern life but doesn't offer or even contemplate a solution to our current plight.

That's right. Let's laugh it off. We'll be gone in a few years anyway.

--------------------

Okay, the Internet is working again. Now, I can get back to the more important aspects of life: gaming in a virtual world which has neither fantasy or reality at its core; a place where there are good answers, but only to the wrong questions.